Sesshoumaru Has a Change of Heart
by Steph42-27
Summary: Just a REALLY weird story. Sesshoumaru, well, has a change of heart. You'll see. And yes, the story consists of only 2 chapters. I'm done.
1. A Nice Day Sort of

THE FOLLOWING IS A BIT OF COMPLETELY USELESS INFORMATION:  
  
A/N: I've been getting a lot of requests to write a sequel to "A Random Episode of Yu-Gi-Oh", and, although I'd normally do something if someone asked for it, I'm highly doubtful it'll be anywhere near good the first one. Believe me, it'll suck. So I'm not even going to attempt. Instead I'm going to make fun of Inu-Yasha---don't get me wrong, I love the animé dearly---because it's been itching at me for a while. Forgive me if it sort- of SUCKS because I'm not very far into the series yet (but will be!). This fic's not going to be a script like the YGO one was, but more of an ACTUAL story type thing. So yeah. Hopefully you'll enoy it.  
  
The previous message has been brought to you impart by STUFF YOU DON'T REALLY NEED TO KNOW BUT SHOULD READ ANYWAY BECAUSE THE AUTHOR WROTE IT AND STUFF Inc.  
  
Sesshoumaru Has a Change of Heart  
  
By Stephenie.  
  
The sky was clear, as usual. The grass was green, as usual. The birds sang momentarily as the animals down below ate and had fun, as usual. The people in the villages were busy among their daily chores and circadian events, smiling and sharing pleasure ( just, you know, ignore the occasional demon attack), in which would bring them to a satisfying night of rest and peace, as usual.  
  
The partially deranged half-demon was eminently irate, as usual.  
  
"SO WHAT IF I'M FREAKING OUT? MAYBE I ENJOY FREAKING OUT! WHO KNOWS, MAYBE FREAKING OUT IS A HOBBY OF MINE! DID YOU EVER THINK OF ASKING ME THAT? NO! NO YOU DIDN'T! I'D APPRECIATE IT KAGOME IF YOU COULD ASK ME ONCE IN A WHILE IF FREAKING OUT IS REALLY SUCH A BAD THING! IS IT, REALLY?"  
  
"Calm down, Inu-Yasha!"  
  
"Calm down? CALM DOWN?!!? DO I REALLY HAVE TO CALM DOWN AT A TIME LIKE THIS?"  
  
"Yes! Jees, like, it's just a twig in your hair. Seriously I can just get it out for you."  
  
"GET IT OUT FOR ME? JUST LIKE THAT? YOU THINK EVERY PROBLEM CAN BE SOLVED AS EASILY AS JUST "GETTING IT OUT FOR ME"? NO KAGOME, NO! HOW IN THE 13 ½ HELLS DO YOU EXPECT ME TO JUST LET YOU GET IT OUT FOR ME?"  
  
"13 and a half? What's the half all about?"  
  
"Oh, management conflicts. Some guy. . .Lucif. . .something like that, wanted the half with the spikes and homicidal maniacs."  
  
"Oh ok."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"What's the other half of?"  
  
"Reserved for Martha Stewart."  
  
"Right."  
  
Inu-Yasha took in a deep breath, and sat down in the same fashion a canine would. His long hair flowed along with his downward motions, gleaming in the perpetual sunlight.  
  
Kagome, trying to keep herself from jumping on the semi-demon and ripping off his clothes in passionate lust, patted him lightly on the shoulder for reasons of comfort.  
  
"It's alright, Inu-Yasha. Just relax. Have some tea."  
  
"Sigh, thank-you."  
  
She handed him some tea, and he began to sip.  
  
"You really should get some help," commented Kagome, audaciously.  
  
"I have been! I tried anger management but it just DOESN'T do it for me. I mean the guy who was trying to help me had all of these funny smelling things that apparently helped to "alleviate my stress", and he did this REALLY annoying thing with his nose that was just so insanely annoying it went off the charts!" Inu-Yasha performed a twitch of his eyebrow as Kagome watched tea drops fly all over the grass. "AND ANOTHER THING, HE SAID MY HAIR IS MORE WHITE THAN SILVER but no, oho no, it is more SILVER than WHITE excuse me! Even if it was white, it'd be more of an OFF-WHITE that STUPID LITTLE FU--"  
  
"WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT LOSING YOUR TEMPER?"  
  
"I. . . well. . ."  
  
"Do I have to do it?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Sit."  
  
Among the trees there was heard a loud curse.  
  
"Heh." Kagome's day was consummated.  
  
"WHY YOU----GAH I OUGHTTA---YOUR HEAD SHOULD BE ROASTED AND THROWN AND---- OW that rock in which I landed forcefully on, hurt."  
  
"Well you really have to learn about controlling your level of aggravation."  
  
Oh, by the way, if you're wondering where Sango, Shippo and Miroku are, they're in a meadow frolicking and doing something faggish.  
  
"How can ANYONE control their level of aggravation with an annoying little mortal like you?"  
  
"It's not my fault you need me to help you find those damn shards, puny little HALF-demon!"  
  
"NOW you're asking for it. I...ah what's the use. Let's sit down and drink some more tea."  
  
"Oh...kay..."  
  
They sat.  
  
Inu-Yasha flung tea at her face.  
  
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"  
  
"Therefore I win."  
  
Time passed, and they continued to verbally quarrel, and after a while things got repetitive and no one cared so I'm going to skip to another part in the story now.  
  
"Feh."  
  
Kagome sat there, thinking of Inu-Yasha and how he was a burning, lusting package of sex.  
  
I mean that's not the author's opinion, what are you talking about? Sex does not immediately come to mind when thinking about Inu-Yasha oh no no! What do you mean 'attracted to cartoon characters'? I don't know what you're even saying! Leave me alone, just STOP---  
  
Ok so anyway.  
  
"So I think I might. . .eh. . . have that thing for you that. . . other guys could have for you. . ."  
  
"PERVERT."  
  
"NO. . . I. . .lo---"  
  
They heard a rustle in the bushes. 


	2. Chocolate Chipped Evil

Inu-Yasha and Kagome stared wide-eyed at the bush.  
  
A familiar figure stood up from behind it.  
  
This figure portrayed an image of enlightenment, yet beheld sheer morbid perplexity. A monument in which emanated a sense of sedate bewilderment. Although this glorious depiction was seen as the epitome of pure evil, it flowingly discharged a certain ethereal glow of continuous profoundness and well-being. Prudent and ambitious as this physical form of essence may have masqueraded itself as, the immense depravity and horror inside was too much for all to hardly conceive. An evil where need and determination could be fulfilled by defilement of innocence. An evil where relatives meant only pitfalls with desperation as no excuse. An evil where murdering became a darkening routine, collecting an elicited proportion of knowing there is always defense, thriving on the death and warped virtues in which will achieve the goals, swollen within the torturing hell which is the self.  
  
"ANYONE WANT SOME COOKIES?"  
  
Inu-Yasha flinched, and gaped oddly at his half brother holding a tray of chocolate chip cookies. Kagome couldn't help but giggle, then shut herself up when she remembered how much damage this tall, handsome demon can bring.  
  
"What? They ARE fresh, if that's what you're thinking."  
  
They stared.  
  
"I have oatmeal too, if you like."  
  
"Sesshoumaru, what the HELL are you doing?"  
  
"Offering you cookies, of course. Oh and I don't go by my full name anymore. Call me Sesshy. Or Sesshy-pie, whatever you like."  
  
Kagome burst out laughing. Inu-Yasha snorted, trying to keep himself from falling over and rolling into a heaving guffaw. I call that snurking. So yeah. Inu-Yasha snurked.  
  
"...Sesshy-pie, what the HELL are you doing?"  
  
"Well, Inu-Yasha. I was eavesdropping and—"  
  
"EAVESEDROPPING?"  
  
"---the love in the air has gotten to me. Everyone I know is falling in love, like you and Kagome, and—"  
  
"EXCUSE ME?" shrieked Kagome.  
  
"Bertha is getting married to Death, and I recently met a very dashing young woman in the 4th hell---you know, the one where they're setting up The Apocalypse next millenium---who has stolen my heart and pinned it to a wall and watched the blood drip down onto the floor in a morbid, horrific mess."  
  
Sesshoumaru gave a long sigh of bliss, looking towards the ground as if in a dream.  
  
"My . . .brother. . .is. . .a complete...sissie."  
  
"Maybe it's genetic."  
  
A grumble.  
  
"So, do you two want some cookies or not?"  
  
Inu-Yasha sniffed. Kagome shrugged and mumbled something about not caring if she would drop dead right now anyway, and took one. She took a bite. Inu- Yasha watched.  
  
". . . Very good, Sesshy."  
  
"Why thank-you. New recipe."  
  
"Mmmm I would think so."  
  
Inu-Yasha took a cookie. Inu-Yasha nibbled on it. Inu-Yasha freaked.  
  
"WHAT THE? SESSHY, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? WHERE'S THE MURDEROUS RAGE BROTHER I USE TO KNOW AND LOVE?"  
  
"He is long gone, my friend. Speaking of murderous rage, you should really do something about your temper."  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH---"  
  
"Usually, Inu-Yasha, anger is built up by other emotional issues. Do you think it's time you tell someone about your feelings?"  
  
Sesshoumaru gave Inu-Yasha a soft, uncharacteristic smile. His eyes sparkled and his hair shone. Everything about his presence was still as intense, but in a reputable way. Inu-Yasha blinked.  
  
"Actually yes. Yes there is. Kagome."  
  
The girl blinked.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I love you. I love you quite a bit. In fact I love you so much, I'd treacherously kill someone and form their spilt blood into the shape of a heart on your kitchen floor, just for you.  
  
"Awww, how sweet. I love you too."  
  
He smiled.  
  
She smiled at him.  
  
They flung their arms around eachother.  
  
"Now isn't that just lovely?" said Sesshy.  
  
Shippo, Sango, and Miroku came back from running in the field and saw Sesshy looking at Kagome and Inu-Yasha hugging eachother.  
  
"But...but...I THOUGHT THEY'RE RELATIONSHIP WAS WHOLESOMELY PLATONIC!" sqealed Shippo.  
  
"They just confessed their love for each other and I am now a good guy. Care for a cookie?"  
  
". . ."  
  
"Chocolate chip?"  
  
They all grabbed one.  
  
Miroku and Sango started making sweet love. With clothes on, of course. Have to keep this fics clean you know.  
  
Sesshoumaru then said the following.  
  
"Ah, yes. Eat. Eat. These cookies are just another ploy involved in my master plan. You will all soon feel vengeance and hatred for each other, and begin to go stark raving mad! A spell hath been cast on these tasty cookies to cause you all to kill eachother! The love is just a side effect; but you will see, oh, you will ALL see, of how betrayal and distrust can play all of the roles in the search for the shikon jewel shards! Gahahaha, GAHAHA, GAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHA HA HA HAAAAA!!!!!!!"  
  
"Sorry, what was that?" asked Miroku.  
  
"Oh, nothing."  
  
Inu-Yasha got hooked up with Kagome, Miroku with Sango, Sesshy with that dripping blood from heart chick, and Shippo with . . . . . .that . . .flaming. . . cat. . .thing.  
  
And so they all ran to a field and played a merry game of badminton. . . . . . . . . . .with sticks. . . . . and a real, live bird. . . . . . . . that was dead.  
  
Hey it's like the ending to EVERY SINGLE 1800s BRITISH MOVIE EVER MADE (Everyone getting hooked up in the end).  
  
Oh, right, and eventually they all killed eachother. The End! Well, it was ALMOST like an Old British movie. Ever seen Sense and Sensibility? Hugh Laurie and Alan Rickman are so awesome. Nicholas Nickleby...or however you spell it. . .was a good movie too. Charlie Hunham...hunnam . . .HOWEVER HIS LAST NAME IS SPELT. . . would make a really good Link for a Zelda movie. Really good. Check him out.  
  
Yeah. 


End file.
